The Pokepeople
by Elliot Pole
Summary: When a Muk-boy falls in love with a Seadra-girl, he has to find a way to win her heart. But a creepy Lickitung-girl wants him, and there is rumor of a Gligar-girl come to town. Will he manage to get the girl of his dreams and put off the others?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **_In the Pokemon world, there are TV shows just like in our world, the difference being that they_ all_ include Pokemon. There are even Pokemon in the kitchen on cooking channels, Jynx wearing pearl necklaces that vendors want you to buy on the Kanto Shopping Network,, and the meteorologist on _Noctowl News_ has a Weezing with him all the time, and people laugh when the Weezing uses smog on him every time he says there will be clear skies that day._

_The following is from a TV show that people watch in the Pokemon world. It is not broadcast by the station in Jubilife City, or there would be Sinnoh Pokemon in it. Sinnoh does have its own version of this TV show, but this is the one more likely to be viewed in Kanto and Johto._

_So enjoy this rare peak at a TV show from the Pokemon world. This is not the format for which TV shows are typically transpired, but some Magnemite interfered with transmission, and so all we have from it is this format. So sit back and relax, and remember, it's not whether you are viewing it on a Rotom or a man-made TV set that matters. What matters is that you are getting it at all. _

**The Pokepeople**

**Chapter One**

Barry scampered up the embankment as he heard a too-oft familiar voice call out his name for the third time in a row.

"Will she never leave me alone?" he muttered under his breath.

He tripped over an extended root from a true. He tried to get up but something tackled him.

"Got you now, Barry," a honey-sweet voice whispered in his ear.

"Let me go," he said.

"But I haven't even given you a lick," she said. He felt her transform though he couldn't see it. And her big flappy tongue lopped him on the ear, the cheek, and the neck all at once.

Before he could grab her tongue and twist it, he felt her transform again. She was human now and butted him in the back with her knee.

"Now, go with me to the Tuppersha Dance."

"I…uh…what's the Tuppersha Dance?' Barry asked. He knew the answer to that. Girls asking guys, tradition, blah blah blah. Of course, girls could ask guys to any dance, but this dance _specifically _was for girls asking guys.

The thing was, Barry already had a girl he was hoping would ask him. He knew it was a long shot. Seadra-girls did not date Muk-boys. That was common knowledge. A Muk-boy was lucky if he could garner the attentions of an Exeggcute-girl.

A Lickitung-girl like Miranda was one step above an Exeggcute-girl. And Miranda wasn't bad-looking if you got past her protuberant eyes and her fondoness for _Howdy Glameow_. But she wasn't sophisticated like Kara, the Seadra-girl.

"The dance where girls ask guys," Miranda said. "And so I'm asking you."

"I'm not sure I—well, you see…I might not be the best dance partner…"

"Oh, I don't care about that, silly. I just want you to be my date. We don't have to dance or anything."

"I have a project in my thermodynamics class coming up…I might need that night to work on it."

"Has a Kakuna-girl already asked you or something?"

"What?" Barry asked, taken aback.

"I heard Kakuna-girls make good matches with Muk-boys."

"I don't know any Kakuna-girls," Barry said.

"I should hope not. I would hate to lose you," Miranda said.

_Well, you never had me in the first place, so it's a little hard to lose me_, Barry thought.

The Pokemon you could transform into more or less determined what kind of Pokeperson you could date. It was worse than being divided economically. At least with money, people who don't have it early in life can earn it and pass it down to their kids. So their kids don't have to have the same rotten experience they did.

But when you're divided based on what kind of Pokemon you were born to transform into, you can't do anything about it. Muk-boys can date Kakuna-girls and Exeggcute-girls. _Maybe _Koffing-girls, though they can be pretty undesirable. Barry should have considered himself lucky that a Lickitung-girl would deign to give him the time of day. Lickitung-girls could date Yanma-boys or Pineco-boys or even the occasional Onix-boy. (Though Onix-boys were usually three tiers above Lickitung-girls, the temperament of an Onix-boy made them not care who their partner was sometimes, so long as they were good in bed.) There was tale of one Lickitung-girl whose Onix-boyfriend had passed her off to his Graveler-cousin. Graveler-boys were even higher on the scale than Onix-boys, so that is a huge climb for a Lickitung-girl.

Barry could hope that Miranda would find her own Graveler-boy. Because the only person he himself wanted, was Kara.

Barry decided to transform into Muk and slime away. He scrunched up his face and concentrated hard on changing his molecules into Pokemon-form.

He was Muk now. He could get between Miranda's fingers. She couldn't keep her grasp on him in this body.

But he was wrong. She had put something on her hands that made it easy to keep Muk's slimy body in check. Suction cups or something. It wouldn't matter how far he went now; she could cling to him. This was one Lickitung-girl that it would be hard to throw off.

Barry transformed back. "Why are you holding on to me?"

"Because I don't want to let you go, silly."

"I kinda figured that much."

"Go with me."

"I don't want to fail thermodynamics."

"You have a 4.0, Barry. You're not gonna fail if you go dancing for one night."

"I—hey, is that Mellona Fimjik with Klare Korniss?"

"Where?" Miranda asked. She was still sitting on his back, even as she craned her neck forward.

"Nowhere. Just thought I saw them."

Mellona Fimjik and Klare Korniss were two famous singers from rival record companies who had run away together. Melloa was a Bellossom-girl and Klare a Rapidash-gal. They were called Team Firegrass by fans, and anyone who spotted them was faced with the moral decision of letting two people be free or turning them in to the paparazzi to get a big payoff.

Barry would never turn them in, because he believed they were in love and he didn't care for money. But the way Miranda was sitting on him now, leaning forward as if deciding whether it was better to chance a possible sigting of a duo or keep her crush in her clutches, made Barry think that she'd turn in Team Firegrass in an instant.

"I'm not one to miss a chance spotting celebrities," Miranda said. "But you'd best think about being one night away from your thermodynamics work and come dancing."

She didn't wait for an answer but dashed off, searching for Mellona and Klare.

Barry's muscles ached from being under Miranda for so long. But one thing was certain. He would only be attending that dance if Kara went with him.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Pokepeople**

**Chapter Two**

A Koffing-girl was in the tree. Barry didn't have much to do with Koffing-girls. They were in his tier but at the very lower corners, and he didn't really want to date them. This particular one had white hair with a purple streak running across it. She looked like she like punk music. If so, she definitely wasn't Barry's type.

As he walked beneath the tree, she dropped a bucket of nasty liquid on his head. "Hey, what'd you do that for?"

"Where I come from, it is common practice for Koffing-girls to do that to Muk-boys."

"Well, we aren't we're you come from, so I suggest you stop."

"Ooh, I like a man who thinks he can be the boss of me."

"I'm not trying to be the boss of you. I'm just telling you that I don't like gunk being dropped on my head."

"You're a Muk-boy," she said. "You _are _gunk. A little more shouldn't hurt."

Barry was furious, but he decided to let it go. "Don't follow me," he said as he went away.

"Don't worry, I'm not getting out of this tree, even for someone as cute as you."

Barry was stung that this Koffing-girl called him "cute." If a certain Seadra-girl could think that way…but no. Only Koffing-girls and Miranda could like him.

He found the river where Kara usually washed and drank, when she wanted to be alone. Barry hoped that she would need some alone time today. Well, he'd prefer she'd want some Barry-time, but as that wasn't likely to ever happen, alone time with him watching was the best he could hope for.

Kara appeared and took a sip from the river. She looked so cute and Barry wanted to put his hands on her shoulders.

He moved toward her, slowly, as if expecting her to run away like a Stantler-girl would have. Stantler-girls only dated Stantler-girls, because they were so timid that they could not stand to be with any other Pokepeople than others of their ilk. There was a Stantler-girl at school and it was hard enough for her to stay in a desk for forty-five minutes in each class. As school as the finaly bell rang, she always dashed from school, not caring who she hit as long as she escaped the stifling atmosphere.

Barry continued to watch Kara until two hands covered his eyes.

"Guess who?"

"Those hands could only belong to Miranda."

"You bet they do."

Barry didn't like sharing a bush with Miranda. "I'm getting out."

"And I'm coming with you," she said.

They both jumped out into the area beside the river. Kara was so absorbed in gazing at the water that she didn't notice.

"You know you have gunk all in your hair?" Miranda said.

"I noticed."

"You should really wash it out."

"Not in the river."

"Why not?"

Barry looked at Kara. Miranda whispered in his ear, "Oh, I see. You want to keep the water clean for her. I wish you would keep something clean for me like that. But there's still time for you to like me."

"I do like you," Barry said. "Just…not in the way you want me to."

"I'll grow on you. Now come to the dance with me."

"I already told you. I have a project to work on."

"Look, Barry…I really, really want to go to this dance with you. I'm sure that one night off from thermodynamics won't kill you."

Kara stopped sipping from the river and turned to look at them. Her expression seem to be saying,, _Thermodynamics? What a nerd._

Barry was glad now that he didn't look his usual self. Kara wouldn't recognize him as the boy she sat in front of in school. All she knew was that this geek with gunk all over his long hair was being chatted up by a Lickiting-girl and that the geek cared about thermodynamics, which was far beneath Kara. She probably couldn't tell he was a Muk-boy yet…though he certainly looked the part then. But as long as she did not associate him with the boy from school, he could survive.

Kara walked past them, giving Miranda a look as if to say, _If you were in my caliber, I would tell you not to try to date a guy so low. But like I'm going to waste my time trying to convince a girl who won't listen to me to not date such a loser._

Barry knew that thermodynamics made him seem ridiculous, but he couldn't help his passions. He was a Muk-boy after all: his Pokemon body being made of chemical waste, he might as well enjoy working with a branch of chemistry.

"Well, since you won't get an invitation from _her_," Miranda said contemptuously, "you can go with me now!"

"Miranda,, please. I need to work."

"You'll have your whole life to work on thermodynamics. Go with me."

"No."

"Fine. If you're not going with me, I'll go back in the woods and tell the Koffing-girl I saw there that you're available."

"You'll be lying."

"Barry, it's me or her. Miss Seadra is not going with you, so you have to choose between your dear old pal Miranda or some weird Koffing-girl who just moved here."

"I don't care about this dance."

"Yes, you do. It's the Seaotther Trampoline dance. It's where couples are sealed as an item. Whoever Kara goes with will be her boyfriend for the next three months, at least."

"You think I'm going with you after you put that thought in my head?" Barry stormed away.

But a moment later, Miranda tackled from behind, knocking him to the ground.

"Let me go!" he demanded.

"No. You're making a big mistake by not going with me."

"I'd make a bigger mistake by going with you."

"If that's the way you feel, fine. The Koffing-girl is all yours. She's the only one who will date a boy as callous as you."

"Good!" Barry said.

"Fine!"

"Dance!"

"Jump!"

"Frog!"

"Kick!"

Now they were rolling over each other, laughing. When they stopped, Miranda was on top, sitting on Barry's stomach.

"We haven't laughed like that together in years!" she said.

"I didn't know how much I missed it."

"You never know how much you miss something until you experience it again."

"I'll go with you to the dance," Barry said, pushing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I don't think I want to go with you after all," Miranda said.

Barry's face went red. "But a minute ago you were demanding I go with you. What changed your mind?"

"You have gunk in your hair."

Barry started to make a retort, when Miranda began laughing. "You are so gullible! Like I'd ever turn down an offer to go out with you in my right mind."

"So it's a date?"

"It's a date."


End file.
